YOURS. - endlessly

i've been waiting for this day to come and it's like over now...but i have no regrets for today!was having fun and enjoyed myself with all my 'trust-walk' friends and the kids in church.though it was tiring and the weather was hot.
thanks to big bug tee who helped me to ask for sth..haha...owe you one treat ok?...made many new friends today.not really many but it was what i expected..yeah daryl and nicholas were friendly enough too.
gotta wake up duper late this morning.the longest and best sleep that i had so far in the week.next week i can't wake up late anymore cos must go for cat class...with all the p3 kids shouting and screaming in my ears again...
met a lot of ppl in church today for the workshop as well..yeah and really having so much more fun than last week!and now i can't imagine that it's over and here comes monday!hate it so much cos it's the day when i come home on latest time in the week..anyway..shan't grumble anymore.have to face the music sooner or later.
marching training went well last fri.was so relieved when ms rose said that there's no high expectation set for us when we march cos we're not even frm sjab and this is like our very first time to march in our life so just do our best and get the basics right.
last week ms wendy and mr hamzah got really worked up and pissed with our class.hopefully this coming week won't have any more teachers screaming and throwing our things anymore...or even walk out on us! No!
i don't mind going for the workshop again.it's so much fun and enjoyment.there'll be more in the future i hope.and top of all,i really appreciate all my new friends met today!=))

"the most wonderful gift: life.Sometimes it was cruelly taken away too soon, but it's what you did with it that counted, not how long it lasted..."
"whatever lay ahead, you would just open your heart and follow where it leads you.."

miss you badly

went for mass this evening and had home-made roti prata for dinner at home aft tt.this morning went for tuition and yeah..got so hyper when it was over.then went to parkway with jac though it was raining quite heavily...i got so excited and so keen to walk around till i didn't want to take my lunch even,and i finally bought what i wanted.
i was just simply switched off during mass-the homily this evening.can't help it.was too exhausted from the morning walk at parkway...now i'm just looking forward to tomorrow and that will be coming few hrs later.
one big achievement for this week was having finished reading "P.S I LOVE YOU".wonderful!didn't really expect i could finish reading it tt fast.started reading last monday and this thurs i've completed my mission!now start reading another book borrowed from natassia.and this book also comes from the same author with "P.S I LOVE YOU".it's "WHERE RAINBOWS END" by Cecelia Ahern.this one is bigger and maybe it's thicker than the last one...and i guess i will have to take longer to finish it...cos i can't bring it around with me like what i did for the last book.anyway...hopefully this book will be as interesting as "P.S I LOVE YOU"...
tried to complete my maths homework by tonight but couldn't cos my eyes were too heavy to lift up anymore.so i just managed to finish my eng hw and half way through maths hw...
the weekend now seems to be so great and full with excitement for tmr.shall wake up later so that i can kill time faster.

_YOU ARE THE LAST THING ON MY MIND TONIGHT BEFORE I SLEEP_

miss you badly

I'm feeling really unappreciated.
You takin` my love for granted, babe.
and I don't know how much more,
I can take from you.
You don't do the things you use to do.
You don't even say I love you too.
And lately I've been feeling,
Feeling unappreciated.
Woke up this morning and saw your face
And you didn't look the same as yesterday.
I got the feeling that you can't seem to see,
Where you want to be.
And lately it ain't been the same at all.
When you're here its like I'm invisible
I still can't seem to see where I went wrong.
Cuz I'm feeling...I'm feeling really unappreciated.
Lately our house is not a home
You come in, take a shower and then say I'm gone.
What am I to do
When my heart says leave
But my feet won't move
And today is our anniversary
And you haven't even said two words to me
I'm trying hard to give you another chance
But ooh baby I'm feeling

_by CHERISH_

miss you badly

haven't been in a very good mood recently,just like the weather,sometimes it rains sometimes it doesn't.Even school also seems to be interesting sometimes,and at times it does not.
Something wasn't good happened today in sch,during bio period.Well,i'd like to keep it inside...but my teacher had totally spoil my mood for the rest of the day.Was feeling good and hyper during ss,which was before bio,but aft bio lesson,it seems to have changed drastically...wow...big difference!
Wasn't on a very good term with the subject lately as well,regarding to what happened on this day last week,also during bio lesson.Don't really want to think much abt it cos the interest for the subject is still in me,so i decided not to bring that spirit down.One day I'll prove him really wrong,not only myself,but the whole class,everyone will!
Some people purposely bumped into me when they walked pass me today during recess..Yeah,i just ignored and walked on to simplify the matter.Those ppl have nothing better to do anyway.They think that they behave that way is really very cool but actually it just makes them no difference from the hooligans on the street.How sad that they don't realize what they're doing.
It's not worth it to get angry or mad at them.just forgive and forget so that life will be happier and better when i don't bother them.AND they better NOT to bother me.
Feel like giving up that marching thing for that sport's carnival.it's just too tiring and tough for me.trying very hard to convince myself that i would do it better and soon i'll get used to it.but don't know how long more i can take it this way...it only happens once in a lifetime anyway..

miss you badly

a start of new week..but not all things seem right today..
noticed that someone's attitude has changed.and it's kind of obvious to me though you never open your mouth.i think maybe you've read my blog...well,actually i didn't really mean what i posted that day and i didn't do out of anger either.i just really want you to know how i feel abt you the the things you do.yeah...
i know friendship is hard to find and it's also hard to maintain a good one...speechless...what i have posted may hurt you i know.but i can't continue to let it be the way it is and eventually starts hurting our friendship.it will become worse even.
hope you understand.we can talk abt it.

p.s:"Thanks for the lovely note you've written,a sia.it's so touching...haha...yeah we will always be bestie!"

miss you badly

hey!
yeah today is sunday and it was a pretty fun day i ever had so far in the week!
this morning was the first day for my attachment in church.the p3 kids really drove me nuts! they're louder than a speaker!...anyway,could actually spotted few naughty ones.mark and fel were nice though.and they're really patient with the kids i noticed.
then afternoon came back to church to help out with the p3 workshop.doing the trust-walk activity with other few guys from con3 attachment too.we were having fun leading the kids and their blindfolded parents around.gotta make new friends as well,chris,nicholas...
the most unexpected was seeing him there.didn't know he was doing this church search lol...he wasn't helping anyway,just being in charge cos he's alta boy.
this sun was like a church day.next sun is gonna be the same.but won't have to come for class.looking forward to it!!
new week is coming soon.gonna have to end this weekend and start another new week!

miss you badly

Weekends are here.had new skin for my blog today.kind of emo but nice.no regrets.went high today during english and ss period.well,did really bad for ss SBQ test this time.but there're still rooms for improvement i believe.yeah,don't be disheartened so soon.that's the only word which ms zhang repeated it over and over again just to encourage us.how sweet.
chinese tuition tmr again.was glad when she mentioned abt changing tutor.but it will take time.but it's all right cos i just wanna get rid of this tutor.i can't survive with her.hopefully my nightmare would be over soon.
sunday go church as usual.first week doing my attachment service.well,p3 kids,that will make me either feel like a kid as well or just make me vomit my blood out but who cares.just be like them,i think it's much better.workshop aft that and i'm going to give my sweet sunday away.how i long for the time you'll call me...

miss you badly

Today was so much better than yesterday.had english assignment and i was like sitting there stoning and kind of cracking my brain for 10 mins.but in the end managed to finish the whole compo on time.then aft that was maths,and we had another graded maths assignment too.and i 'm quite confident that i will fail this paper.well,properties of circles and it's kind of journal writing so i was like:"OH FISH HOW TO EXPLAIN SIA?"

this week was full with tests and assignments.going crazy soon but thanks to natassia's book.i can have myself relaxed reading it.the book's title is "PS. I LOVE YOU"(the photo bove).sounds sweet right?and it's extremely nice!i can't stand not reading it for one day.the story is just getting more and more interesting around with love,friendship and family life...maybe more than that.
this sunday will be joan's birthday but we celebrated it just now aft sch with my council and the senior council.bought for her a cake and started singing birthday song for her.was rushing for time cos the seniors have to attend some lessons and i was having tutorial so didn't stay long to eat the cake.but get to eat a little bit and 2 pieces of strawberry though.
chinese tutorial today wasn't conducted by mdm xie.it was by some china chinese teacher.can't remember her name.but actually i didn't really have a very good image of her when saw her in sch first few times before.she can't really understand english and i think she's the youngest chinese teacher in sch.wonder why she likes to wear such tight clothes.not say that she has a very nice figure anyway...but her conducting wasn't that bad.she could keep me awake and pay attention in class this time compared to the other times with mdm xie.
one good news was that my sis can apply to go to england.all her documents were successfully approved.perhaps she will fly there end of august or so.and i'll also have a chance to see my beloved ones soon.YAY! weekend is near and i'm most looking forward to sunday.this time i won't really be so excited again.i don't want to end up becoming like yesterday once more time.will be coming back for cca tmr and aft that can have all the time in the world for myself!

miss you badly

Today is such a bad,DAMN bad day!
firstly i had to stand outside the class during bio.the very first time in my past 2 years in sac.the reason was that i accidentally took out the freaking notebook yesterday while packing my bag without knowing its absence.did explain to mr hamzah but still had to stand outside.well,his bad day as well i guess.everyone is moody today.luckily bio last for half an hour only.but it was embarrassed enough though.
secondly,honestly speaking,i feel like building a wall to separate me from the person who sat next to me on my right.it's getting on my nerves soon.and i wonder since when i have a parrot,more accurate-a copycat!wadever i do,even taking out the foolscap to write down my notes,she will also do the same.and one more thing that irritates me the most-borrowed my notes to copy because she didn't pay attention to wadever was in the bloody screen,that's why she did not know that there was thing to copy into the notes.so she missed it and i had to lend her my notes.and so what?it doesn't mean i allow her to copy my OWN notes that i have written there?and why must she highlights all those i highlighted too?what is she trying to DO?piss me off can?there WON'T be the next time i'm going to lend her my notes for goodness sake!and every 5 mins must she turn around just to eye on what i'm doing??CAN I HAVE MY OWN PRIVACY PLEASE?! wth!and actually we're not close friends as she thinks or others might think we're!i don't have a friend who's a COPYCAT!

i've been controlling my anger and temper really that much this afternoon.and another stupid thing happened again in the evening.2 BAD things happened in sch not enough,another WORSE thing comes at home!..where's the peace?the briefing that i was supposed to go tonight in church,well and i have been looking forward to it since sunday.and now..."you don't need to go already".what's this?!what has the world become to?and i can't even ask for the reason behind it.why is it that i'm always at the disadvantage?why everything i do i must give a reason but when it's you who give the order,why don't you have to give the reasons for wadever you do too?isn't it unfair?
i could feel the flame burning inside me throughout the whole dinner.tried to cool myself down by drinking the iced juice but it didn't help till i got on the comp and vent all my frustration here.it's just an UNFAIR world!sometimes i wonder why can't i have my own space?why must they always put us together even in our OWN INDIVIDUAL ACTIVITIES?well,sometimes they do but most of the time they DON'T!even in church activities,why can't i be on my own self?not say we're like sister and can't be separated?PLEASE!!!FANG KAI WO!!!such a...!

i really feel so tight,so tight to be in this environment.no air,no space.i don't feel belonged to this kind of atmosphere and environment right now.sometimes i really tried my best to get myself adapted to this kind of situation but then..i feel really tired..i can't help myself anymore.already tried my best to control the emotions that i don't want to let them flow out.don't wanna lose my temper before i regret it one day.am i dong the right thing?sometimes i think i'm just like a nutcase.listen to others but not my heart...

miss you badly

know what? IT'S SATURDAY TODAY!!!! ..yay and i can't wait till tmr.going backfor cat class and watching dim sum dollies.how wonderful!!!!..but the thing that spoils my mood is doing homework..no choice.this monday must hand up my projand so on...argh!!
tuition today wasn't that bad.but i don't say that it's fun either.long time never see lao shi.but i dont wish to see her like everyday too.haha...talked to her abt natassia today and she can actually remember HUI YI lol...so are you happy natassia??yeah she remembers you!..haha.didn't expect that you were once her student too!
im not going for mass today.going for the 1030 aft my cat class.then aft go home,have lunch,get changed and go for dim sum dollies!!so excited!!ifeel much better today compared to yesterday.really had no more energy lol.but aft one night's sleep,i've been fully charged now=))
this morning when was on my way to tuition,i finally sent a msg to tt person aft one week since we met during the youth thing last sat.i have this feeling that is quite bad and disheartening but dont wanna care abt it much so im forcing myself to forget and ignore it.i shouldn't start talking to you again...though i dont wanna do that..
anyways, there're still many thing awaiting me so i shall spend my time on them.this will also help me to quickly forget abt what had happened recently...yeah.think of it will make me more miserable..i know it's time for me to let go.grieve over it won't make any difference or bring her back to me.she's gone somewhere far frm here without saying good bye...disappointment's still there in my head..

-BIG GIRLS DON'T CRY-

miss you badly

with cass and joy

smile=))

with phyllis

with natassia and cassandra

JOY!!

BESTIE:)

the ex-clique

3/4ers'07

ex-2/2ers

with phyllis,cassandra,natassia and joy

with natassia,cassandra,veng wai and doraline

these photos were taken at CCHMS.today was really a tiring day.yeah the last day of the week is always restless and exhausted.had pe for 1 hour every friday some more.did enjoy myself playing captain's ball with the class at first but in the end found myself becoming tired so i stopped playing half way lol.the weather was quite hot but school was not that bad.
got ta miss two periods of physics and the test today cos going over to CCH for accounts workshop.this is the second time i went to CCH,and everytime i go there, i made new friends and see new faces of ppl.Bedok North,AHS and Damai were there too.there were some other schools but i cant remember.we did mostly games abt money,savings and all the accounts stuff.it wasn't really about accounts that we learnt in sch.and i enjoyed playing the amazing race with my group.yah!
had a great time with natassia,joy,phyllis and cass.our group was A4 and the facilitator was xin yi.she's kind of friendly and we actually get along with each other quite well...we took a lot of pics but unfortunately i couldn't upload those pics frm my phone to the comp.shall try it another day.
this evening will have a party in sch to celebrate our achievements for the past semester.i didn't come cos wasn't in the mood and didn't really feel well so i went home straight aft returning to sch from CCH..
nothing special happened in this week except that i had to catch up with a lot of sch works, cca and even prefect stuff.things do not seem to be right in prefects now.and i always have this weird feelings every morning for no reasons.maybe im not used to it yet.however..feel best when im with my class and my cliques.yes..love them all lol=))
have to complete maths proj and many other homeworks.tmr i have to go for tuition aft one month long.and also have to come back for catechism class on sun.then will go to watch dim sum dollies with sch and my whole gang in class!yeah...it's gonna be fun YAY!!!

-good mood today but feeling exhausted-

miss you badly

i'm back in s'pore today.kind of feeling upset but this time wasn't as bad as the last time.it's all right.just have to make sacrifices for now.the future will be better and brighter.gotta cheer myself up every time i'm feeling this way...
tonnes of notes and homework plus projects awaiting me.yeah..but i'm very touched by everyone.esp jac, natassia, natalie and cassandra.thank you all for helping me during the time i'm not around in class.you all have been a great help.owe you all a treat one day okie=))
have to catch up with all the subjects, esp accounts.having standard test next wed.later on i will be going for mass.haizz...sometimes i feel like so not interested to do anything in the world.life sometimes seems meaningless...but anyway...cant carry on like this forever.
one big wish that i want to fulfill is to study well and...yah...cant say it out here.i want to grow up fast so that i can do many things that i wish to do. i must do myself and everyone proud.so that my grandma will be happy of me.though we're far apart...
next week will come pretty soon and everything will be back as normal...

that's my life.
simple but sophisticated...

miss you badly