Your subtleties they strangle me
I can't explain myself at all
And all the wants, and all the needs
All I don't want to need at all

The walls start breathing, my mind's unweaving
Maybe it's best you leave me alone
A weight is lifted on this evening
I give the final blow

When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight, it ends tonight
Just a little insight won't make this right
It's too late to fight 'cos it ends tonight

A falling star, at least I fall alone
I can't explain what you can't explain
You're finding things that you didn't know
All these thoughts locked inside
Now you're the first to know

for some reasons you seem to be somebody
it hurts when the way you talk to me
show a complete different person
why can't you let me know your reasons...
how i wish i could know
than to feel the pain inside unknowingly.
can feel it but it's upsetting

cat class today was not boring and was not very interesting too...we did stations of the cross but didn't complete all of them cos of the time.went to cut hair aft that and yea...say bye to my long hair!..haha my hair is not short.but it isn't very short actually...shoulder length.yea..still can tie up but im gonna take a long time to pin up all the hair!...
yesterday night when to changi village at this restaurant by the sea for dinner aft mass.the place was somewhere nearby changi adventure camp where we went there for our sec 2s' camp corri 2 yrs ago. the food there was pretty yummy, esp the sweet and sour chicken.i was actually falling asleep thru out the gospel reading and homily in mass.was super sleepy and didn't have enough sleep since came back from camp.went for chinese tuition in the morning and was so proud of myself for having all the spelling correct! yay! haha...and as usual, i was somehow dozing off during class too but i was still awake at times...
school tmr and gonna have new surprises for me.it's time for me to catch up with everyone in class abt their camp corri and yea get busy running here and there to talk and discuss abt my short hair..haha! not coming for cca tmr cos i have something to do at the immigration.was quite hesitant to skip cca cos they're announcing new comm tmr.i'll be busy for the next few days cos of achievers' day rehearsal on tue,tutorial on wed then the actual achievers' day on fri.gosh...and i need to have some sleep to make up for the loss of sleep during camp!

"you're my sunshine"

it was pretty fun to be a facilitator of 2.5! they're great people and they've brought me many surprises during the 3-days-2-nights camp! i was still feeling super hyper when i arrived in school from jalan bahtera.

day1: assembled in school,meeting my 2.5 class and started with all the admin works..get to know and make friends with my fellow facilitators,namely melissa, sam, sarah fun and ee. They were fun to be with and had much influences from them during the camp.and my instructor was RENDALL! he was known as the super funny guy during our camp back last year in nov. lucky 2.5! we played some ice-breaker games and learn some cheers in school for 1hr before heading to JALAN BAHTERA. first day was quite exhausted but it was pretty fun.i was kinda proud of myself that i could belay and first night ever, i could chase all the sec2s to sleep and get to sleep latter than anyone.how cool!

day2: didn't get to wake up late cos slept with 2.1 with cons,alyssa and ruoen. the class was making so much noise early in the morning.anyway,had morning exercises and we were doing 50+ Buddha claps.breakfast came aft tt then we set out for the activities for the day.nature rumble was pretty fun but i didn't go down to the mud cos i only had one pair of shorts available for the rest of the days.we weren't allowed to wear FBT shorts though our packlist didn't mention there.lunch aft NR then we went kayaking.this time i went into the water with the class and kayaked with sam.high elements continued from day1 cos some of the gals didn't have the chance to climb.i love day2 the most cos we had camp fire at night and it was GREAT.2 thumbs up i must say.we, the facilitators and everyone present there were having so much fun performing and watching the performances. the teachers' performance was the most interesting one.mr lee dressed up as a lady with a sport bra worn outside with oranges stuffed inside then the rest of them were dancing to the Umbrella song. Mr lee became the lime light of the crowd aft the first night dancing on stage the macho frog song.laughter and tears were seen. i was kinda feeling emotional when seeing many gals from 2.5 crying.well.."we have joy,we have fun, we have seasons in the sun". they were the best class ever, united and enthused. the night was very memorable for each one of us. and thanks to rendall,his speech really made us cry.lights off at 1am in the morning i guess and went to sleep with my dear class with cons and alyssa again.luckily they had enough space for us cos the facilitators' hut was unable to accommodate 38 of us.

day3: area cleaning.we were so fortunate to do the cleaning at the canteen and the washing area.it was because our instructor was a guy so we didn't have to do toilets cleaning.all the toilets were disastrous. Setting out back to school at 11. say goodbye to JB and yea everyone is gonna miss this place and all the fun,the lessons and the experience there so much.

i've learnt sth frm everyone,from the things that i did and yea, i enjoyed myself facilitating 2.5, my very first class and the very first enriching camp i ever had.gonna miss 2.5 with all their unique, special laughter and characters of each one of them.the time we had "orange party",occupying the dustbins for a long time just for the shooting seeds competition.i really love this camp and the people around me.

went to T3 yesterday and it was like WOw...not bad at all.it's super spacious and COOL!..haha got a lot of chocs and sweets shops.the kopitiam there was super crowded...but i love the feeling there...i wanna go there again..but! i noticed one thing, there wasn't any place available to study...maybe i didn't see or sth...its bad man! i wanna go there and study! got INSPIRATION!..haha.sorry i'm crapping now!
YAY!!! 3 days to camp corri! i'm damn excited now!
hahah!!!! shitty! i'm HIGH!
WHOOH!

cca committee interview today and it wasn't as scary as the past year..maybe it was because the interviewers were people whom i know too well to be scared...anyway,was interviewed for two times and well,it's like no use for me to do the write-up in the first first place actually...perhaps i should take this chance to learn,experience and enjoy myself for the last few months before i'm gonna leave.
will be going out with mich tmr to get FPT shorts and stuff for the camp next week.i'm going to facilitate sec2/5 with mel tee,sarahs and dont know if there's anyone else.somehow quite sad cos i won't be with chels,mich and const..anyway,shall be sociable and make more friends and get to know new ppl..
i feel happy for joan,she had such a surprised V-day and yea maybe you two are fated...haha let nature take its course and hope to hear good news after your 0's man!
haha...(actually my V-day wasn't that bad either i think,but didn't go out thanks to my phy teacher).talking about phy,had test and yea hopefully i will only lose one mark.one careless mistake...geog test is coming before camp corri and was inundated with homeworks as usual.
i feel like going for choir concert and next week i have to go for the NUS Guitar Concert too...looking forward to it. and saddies,chinese tuition resumes tmr and i haven't learn my ting xie yet!
gosh.

"i'm glad for things to turn out better"

today was so screwed man! first time in my life ever i came late for school and it was like super duper late!! woke up at 730 and i was asking myself today is thursday or saturday! gosh the sky was freaking bright and i was still on bed! i went to check the clock 2 times, my watch and my phone time, still coudn't believe that it's already 7+!!!another best thing was that my godma also woke up late too! haha the whole house is really in valentine's mood man! haha..first time late and i reached school at 810.quite lucky actually get to skip pe for today..wasn't feeling well yesterday so yeah..and i never bring chinese books some more.but fortunately mrs chong didn't use them today so my luck was still good..haha=)
anyway,stayed back for ss today though it wasn't as fun as chinese tutorial yesterday! thanks to moth.i can get to laugh more when im with you! haha...we practically laughed about everything and actually can get mrs chong on her nerves cos our chinese really suck!
valentine's day in school with all the girlfriends was pretty fun and great.received lots of sweet and chocs from them.thanks to namely a.sia, phyllis, mich, rach tan, chels, mel, natty and val (pls tell me if i miss anyone's name out)...haha..was munching the food and chocs during recess and the feeling was great when you can get to eat chocs from ppl on valentine's day...and P.S I LOVE YOU is released today!
valentine's day can either make ppl feel happy or sad, and this year i feel equally both happy and sad for some reasons...it's just a mixture of feelings which can't be specified...but anyway,though i've lost sth which other ppl may be wishing for,i still have sth else from everyone and i really treasure it...i don't wanna lose anything else in my life.it's hurt to know that you still hold it dearly but you gonna lose it anytime in front of your eyes..

p.s: strong friendship will make successful relationship, i hope you will understand

quick update about last week CNY!

CNY eve night: dinner with my godma's relatives at Yishun country club and it was like super crowded!..man..there was this old man throwing tantrum at the restaurant cos he was impatient to wait for the food.the manager then had to come out to entertain him and after they had no choice,but to shut him up so they started bringing out all the dishes for his table! gosh.so embarrassing!

day1: woke up early for morning mass then after went to visit jac's godma-to-be,stayed for quite long then we went back to have a rest,went to aunty susie's hse,had lunch there and collected quite a number of ang-baos cos all the aunties from church were there!...in the evening we went to my godma's sister's hse to have dinner.as usual,they always play mah-jong every chinese new year,so we youngster had nothing to do but sitting there watching tv.were watching The Legend and it was pretty scary but interesting.after that went home and sleep!

day2&3: was not much visiting,went to shop instead and get myself a pair of slippers from m/phosis.anyway,i swear i'm not going to that shop at tm anymore,the sale ppl's attitude there suck! really! started on my homeworks and tried to complete it so that i can go to mich's hse for dinner.and i just remembered that the game proposal deadline was near!

sunday: went for morning mass and met jerome.haha so sad somene wasn't able to wake up so early for mass.LOL.after mass went to Mac's for lunch then headed home,houseworks and homeworks time! was so eager to go to mich's hse for so called clique reunion dinner with everyone,sadly a.sia wasn't able to make it. I had a lot of fun with everyone then though i left pretty early,curfew! But i was pretty full ! the food was awesome and it was a good opportunity to have steamboat for quite a long time.the night was just pretty fun and it was school the next day!

CNY this year wasn't too bad.made quite big business on the first day and i actually planned for next year CNY already.haha sorry..it's the most fun time ever! 1 week to camp corri and i am quite excited about it.wonder who will be my team mates and the class im gonna facilitate! was very contented during this CNY break,can get to wake up late like ever since school started! how i wish this would continue but sadly it won't...anyway,school is quite fun too with everyone around and with all the surprises coming each day!

"i've laughed a lot today"

today was such an awesome day!
chinese new year celebration in school.for the first time in my sec school life,i felt so excited especially for this year.performed for guitar then it was the first time also,the prefects and my council had to sing on stage! gosh.was trying so hard to memorize the lyrics and less than 10 mins, we finished singing to my amazement!...wad the! anyway,i guess i won't be free for the next few days.yea gotta visit here and there and collect ang-bao! hahas.it's the best part! but...there's a lot of homeworks too...saddy.looking forward to dinner at mich's hse this coming sunday! yay!!!
i'm so excited for the next post!

HAPPY LUNAR NEW YEAR!
XIN NIAN KUAI LE!
GONG XI FA CAI!
HONG BAO NA LAI!!!

hahas!

went for cat class this morning and it was all about catholic's values vs. society's values.well,straight to the point,we were talking abt the beattitudes.and finally,i got over that confirmation thing after much talking,discussions and efforts to find out another solution.well,i've alr gotten over it anyway which means one problem has gone.pls dont trouble me anymore.
BUT,my day was totally ruined early in the morning by that person.effing annoying.why can't i just have a one perfect day for once without seeing ppl frowning and getting myself scolded for no reason? gosh! must all adults behave this way when they're troubled and refuse to share? the hse rule for ALL is no slamming of door,no black faces,no throwing attitude but you're bending all of it?so wad if you're an adult here? that means you can just turn and twist the rules as when you like it? wad the ****.this hse has become a total mess of hell.come on.you don't have to do all these just to let us know that you're troubled and unhappy.sorry.it failed.it doesn't work in my own vocabulary.
vented all my frustration out by walking around tm and century square.got myself a grey dress for cny.well,it's the fact it's not some auspicious colour but who cares.i dont wanna be so striking.maths test tmr.chinese test on mon.and it's HALF DAY on wed! yoohoo.goodie.i assure you i'll put on weight when i come back aft cny=)
lastly,thanks to all who were there for me,namely dan,cass and phyllis...yea i'll try to solve the problem.all we need now is time.yea...sooner or later she'll have to accept that ppl are changing,the world is changing and she's changing too.

keep that smile alive for life's sake.

went to swensen's aft mass just now.well,i swear i'm not gonna eat baked rice there anymore because my tongue was almost burnt by it.anyway,it's such a waste of queuing,waiting for the food but in the end i didn't even enjoy it.no more baked rice.i swear again.
went to bugis street aft tuition to get a shawl and a pair of skinny jeans.yea..was affordable.i love them.was searching for a top but couldn't find anything presentable and yea...forget it.it's just not my luck today.and once again,it's drizzling.
last night, no it was early in the morning.he msged and apologised to me.yea.ever since wad happened on that very tue.he was still thinking about it and yea.it was only right for him to apologise.anyway,i'm slowly getting over you.i guess.i know it was real hard for you but it wasn't easy for me either.but i guess it's time for me to completely get over this,get over whatever had happened and get over you.you should to.it's just a matter of time.just be patient with yourself.
i'm tired.i need the sleep.don't worry.i will pray for you tonight as i always do.

gals go shopping after the break-up.

stressed.lost.aimless...what else can i say?
you must be glad that it's a blessing for you to be able to cry out and get everything out of your heart.
you must feel blessed that when you're not well,everyone is there for you.
do you know how terrible it was when i couldn't cry out like how you did?
imagine when you feel so lost that you don't even know what to do,how you feel...
it's like my heart has become paralysed.
perhaps i thought i should leave you alone to let it out all you want
with no regrets.
i thought it was good not to feel anything so that i can't cry or feel hurt
but i was wrong.
when i was all alone,
thoughts started to developed.
all of a sudden i felt extremely lonely
and scared.
but what do you expect me to do?
i was forcing my tears back,not allowing it to drop but somehow it couldn't resist.
i soon found myself can't hold it back anymore
it was far too unbearable to keep inside.
yes.
i broke down.
in front of everyone's presence except yours.
friends asked why i didn't let it out sooner when you were still around,
it was just simply because my heart was numbed.
it was too much for me to feel anymore.
too many things had happened..
consecutively.
we need time.
you need time.
so do i.
i'm exhausted.

I am thinking of you
In my sleepless solitude tonight
If it's wrong to love you
Then my heart just won't let me right
Cause I've drowned in you
And I won't pull through
Without you by my side
Imagining I'm looking in your eyes
I can see you clearly
Vividly emblazoned in my mind
And yet you're so far
Like a distant star
I'm wishing on tonight
Give my all for your love
Tonight

M is for Mysterious
A is for Articulate
R is for Rebellious
I is for Intense
A is for Abstract

soon 16
27Dec
Capricon
SACSS
Student Coucillor
SACGE-Concert Master
noise-maker
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loves.