YOURS. - endlessly

well, im feeling useless and such a great loser now.who says achieving the best results means you've got everything?i get this but i lose something else that really hard to think of.in life there's gain and there's loss but this was not what i expected that i would have lost.you mean a lot to me but i guess it's time we will have to let go.i tried all ways i can to make you stay but it seems to have turn out differently.i feel such a great loser cos though i can handle other things properly but this is the very first thing that was messed by me.it was not intentionally,i really want to salvage this friendship but it has gone beyond my control.i guess it's time to move on.i used to help others to stand up and i think this time i've gotta help myself to get over this big fall.you know this fall really hurts and i doubt if my heart can be healed.well,it takes time.i don't wanna let go but i think i have been trying too hard.i should have given you and myself time.anyway,thanks for the sweet memories and lovely time we've had together for the past year.i regret for taking things for granted and now it's too late for me to say sorry.but i thank you for making me to realize my mistake although i can't undo things that have been done.now only know to treasure whatever is left behind...they are the most beautiful things that ever happened when we were best friends.i have learnt to treasure more cos i can't afford to lose anything else anymore.i already lost my best friend.

i hope life will move on for you and you will soon find another better person to replace my place in your heart.but remember that deep down in my heart there are still all the sweet memories that will never vanish.

miss you badly

Fly Me to the Moon
(Bart Howard)

Fly me to the moon
And let me play among the stars
Let me see what spring is like
On Jupiter and Mars
In other words hold my hand
In other words darling kiss me

Fill my life with song
And let me sing forevermore
You are all I hope for
All I worship and adore
In other words please be true
In other words I love you

miss you badly

Concrete Angel

She walks to school with the lunch she packed
Nobody knows what she's holdin' back
Wearin' the same dress she wore yesterday
She hides the bruises with linen and lace

The teacher wonders but she doesn't ask
It's hard to see the pain behind the mask
Bearing the burden of a secret storm
Sometimes she wishes she was never born

Through the wind and the rain
She stands hard as a stone
In a world that she can't rise above
But her dreams give her wings
And she flies to a place where she's loved
Concrete angel

Somebody cries in the middle of the night
The neighbors hear, but they turn out the lights
A fragile soul caught in the hands of fate
When morning comes it'll be too late

A statue stands in a shaded place
An angel girl with an upturned face
A name is written on a polished rock
A broken heart that the world forgot

miss you badly

today was just a bad day
totally ruined by someone
well but i had no say
in all decisions that you've made
roaming 'round like no one ever did
just hoping that time would fly
so that i will feel lonely no more.
you treat me as if i'm invisible
but do you ever know how i feel?
ordering me around is all that you do
pushing me to that dark corner
you make me feel...
like running away from home
from you and all the excuses you've made
i need a world for my own
for my dreams and my wishes
a place where i can be heard
and let my feelings freely flow
well for now i guess i will just
find a place to hide them there
you won't be able to see
'cos it's somewhere
deep down in my heart.

p.s: i'm gonna miss you all.see at ms wendy's wedding! =)

miss you badly

things seem to be easy to be solved

but it did not turn out to be.

i tried to think of a way

to really make it up to you

but you don't seem to care

you don't wanna give me a chance.

now that school has closed

and we haven't come to anything

what can i do now?

'cos i don't wanna lose you

i want to be by your side

and play my part as your best friend.
well now i just pray
that we can pull thru' this time
and be back to those sweet time again...

miss you badly

something seems to be wrong right here
i can't say it but i can sense it.
something is just going wrong between us
and i guess it can destroy everything
if we keep going on this way.
I want to tell you about how i feel
and i wanna tackle this problem with you
but somehow i find it really hard
just to bring this topic to you...
Why can't you just be honest about it
and let me know the way you feel in a nice way
and tell me where i go wrong?
'cos i really want to change
to be a better person and a better friend
but somehow you just don't
really understand the way i feel right now.
Perhaps you didn't know
that those words you said really hurt
'cos i feel that the respect from you
it isn't there anymore...
Perhaps you didn't realise
that you do hurt other ppl as well...
and now i keep wondering
how long it's gonna end
and it keeps worrying me
'cos i don't wanna our friendship
to come to an end.

miss you badly

today was a really tiring day after the big day out and the reassessment.well,it was really a packed day to me.After the reassessment today,i have come to realise what a true friendship means and first time to witness a sweet friendship turns sour...well,im just speechless.i have nothing more to say about it.but im angry for the type of hypocite that person turns out to be.i respected her but now...im sorry but my respect for her has all vanished.it's just too hurting and hard to accept the fact but well,we have to face it and yea....friends come and go.life can seem to be so dull without them but we all have to grow...and it's far too hard to face the truth of being backstapped by your really good friend.if i was in the situation...i think i will just break down and yea...but time heals all wounds.just let nature takes its course and life goes on.there're still many other ppl out there who are more worthy of your respect and love.anyway,i won't go on..there's no point talking about hypocrite...just telling myself not to be too trusting and not all best friends can be trusted.that's life.

miss you badly

how would i describe
the way i feel right now
it's not anguish
neither disappointment,
well..im wondering
the reasons for you to treat me that way.
no respect no manner
nothing.
you talk to me as if
im a pain in your eyes.
by shouting at me
and saying i'm irritating
i know you were
showing me attitude
but i don't wanna say it.
i just want to know
the reason why...
why are you behaving like this?
i know you're troubled
and you're feeling down
but it doesn't mean that
you can vent your anger on me.
i once told you that i will be here
whenever you need me
but im not here
for you to scream at me.
im none other than
you very best friend
but you seem somehow
not treating me as one.
what are you thinking now?
what's going thru' your mind?
i really want to know
'cos i wanna help you
but the way you treat me
like im just a nuisance
well,
im a human being
i can see and can feel
but i can't predict.
however,
i think i still deserve
that respect from you
because im not
a non-living thing.
I HAVE MY OWN FEELINGS TOO.

miss you badly

nice post 'laine!

her foot is far too unbearable!..haha

she's dreaming of an ice-cream!

different kinds of smile!

wad's with mel?

she looks delicious!...haha.im not that seducive ok!

im gonna chew her into small pieces!

nice one nat!

someone is sleeping!

see those two holes?..haha

look here!

cheese!

went to Ngee Ann Poly today and had a retty good time with the clique together.we went to roam around at the engineering course although we were supposed to go to Life Science at first.anyway,enjoy myself there.well, the lecturers and guides aren't bad at all.they were friendly and patient.haha..but my interest is still with the business course.i just want to do that course no matter what.and honestly i don't think i will choose NAP next time though the students can get to go overseas but yea.im considering between TP and SP...well,and i will still stick to business course,either banking or tourism and hospitality.thanks to cons.yea...anyway,there's still a long way to go.and i know i gotta work hard from now if i want my dream to come true!

miss you badly

THE PASSION!

see that prize? we all achieved it!

with doralyn

with grace

with jolene

went to Montfort today for leadership training and it was pretty fun and enjoyable.those great team mates from PASSION and the very friendly facilitators...just had a so good time with them all today.got back home quite late but i managed to upload these pics.they are really great ppl and leaders.will be going for mass tomorrow morning...one more week to go before hols start.but there will still be days when i have to come back for extra lessons and cca...one more week to go and then i will get my report book...the nightmare will be here pretty soon.anyway,will be going away during nov.yea.hope i will have great time for this coming hol.

p.s: today i miss you more than yesterday

miss you badly

this was where the fun started!

yes jaslin?giving me black cards?

your face expression was pretty COOL!..haha

these are the pics that were taken at Singapore Discovery Centre today.yea our class went there and the trip was pretty fun though the drawing session was kind of boring...anyway..enjoyed myself getting all hyper and yea with the clique.learnt more things about Singaporeans and their unique habits and yea...love this fun!especially when we were watching the security show...scary but memorable!

p.s: something has started today...somewhere with someone

miss you badly

such a day...torrential downpour and i was feeling completely down for the whole day after getting back my exam scripts.well,how am i going to tell you about that?my chinese was not well done though i've given my best but...i just couldn't make it...forever...ss and physics grades dropped to the extent that i didn't even expected.well,who says if you do well in class,that also means that you will able to do well for exams as well? now i prove to you that this is completely wrong! this is far too disappointed...
anyway,the rest of the subjects were not badly done..was contented with my accounts ,bio and english marks.these somehow gave me a sense of achievement the end of the day...haven't gotten back my maths papers yet...but im really not confident of passing...well...let God decide.already done my best.no one can criticize whatever i have done! this end of year i really feel that i will NOT be able to maintain the grade and position that i had in mid-year...i know it's disappointing but i will have to accept it.i can't force myself so hard just because of this.don't worry...this won't get me down.
my life will still be as per normal and yea....anyway,i need time to get myself to accept with this fact...it's difficult you know?...

p.s: you will not expect that you actually said those hurting words...but you wouldn't know that those words were really hurting and piercing...just swallowed it and let it stay there in my heart...but i will not hold grudges against you.

miss you badly

it's my love!

went to kaya to shop with jac today.bought these things from there and the end of the day i only had to pay like $1.4! thanks to the $40 voucher or else i would have spent like dont know how much for my shopping today and i love that nike water bottle so much!...well was tired after that but felt happy cos i didn't waste my time walking around and bought nothing.but was quite disappointed that i didn't get that bag from m/phosis....sad..just love that bag like at first sight! and it costs $41.9...a dream that won't come true!

miss you badly

i love this dress!went to taka with jac and then we went to suntec and walked for like more than 2 hrs yesterday!..well,no doubts my legs were really tired.anyway,haven't got the time to post about fri yet.lots of pictures from malaysia trip are waiting to be uploaded.sorry for the delay..yea.i will find time soon.anyway, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO UNCLE!

miss you badly

love this monkey but unfortunately,it does not belong to me

lovely kitty

this little soft toy is unique and cute yea?

natassia and me=)

alaine,natty and me

went out with natassia,natty and alaine today.we went to vivo and walked to almost all of the shops there.well,spent most of the time in the building-a-teddybear shop.anyway,went for meeting before that too and yea...today was fun but was a bit tiring cos kept walking for like few hours and then aft that rushed back to go for mass.anyway,fun time with you all,besties.shall blog another time.im worn out

miss you badly

I live through my dark existence
only to bask in your beauty
I long to be with you
but it's impossible to happen
for your heart belongs to another
so, I can only love you from afar
your friendship means more to me
than anything this world provides
in a way that I've never felt before
cause I've never known what love is until this day
I know that we are only friends
but my heart wishes it to be more
so I will still hope and dream
to hold you tight and say, "I love you"

miss you badly

i want this dress for christmas! guess what's the price?(pls see at the end of the post!)

see that two places?...yeah that's my favorite place and someone's=)

went to airport last monday and was freezing cold!

that's my love

it's not from anywhere far away..just through the window from my house!

sorry...just trying out things to dress up for this sunday...AND im not going on a date!

the feeling after exams today was great! can finally keep all the books and have a brainwash.didn't go out with the gang today aft school.well, cos they went for a new hair makeover.all the way to ang mo kio.haha.i wanna see your new hair gals=)anyway,i just love this moment.i can feel myself floating in the air!..haha well and i had fun today.yea only some ppl knows what im talking about.it's HER secret.going to johor this coming fri to celeb my uncle's bdae.well,and going out with jac on sat.attending a buffet at Paramount Hotel this coming sun.wow...that's the TRUE feelings of after exams!it's like being able to feel the world go round again!...anyway,still have to be back to school tomorrow for council meeting.yeah.i feel like im flying and being released after for weeks of stressed and all.finally i dont have to wake up so early in the morning and falling asleep half way revising my work!..gosh.that's terrific!anyway,accounts paper today was much simpler than what i expected.yeah and i have much hope for it.enjoy myself for another few weeks and yea the time when getting back the report book will be another story.i just LOVE today and everything that's happening now! i just wanna scream out loud!!!!and the dress that i want for christmas costs S$154!...fat hopes

miss you badly