you must be glad that it's a blessing for you to be able to cry out and get everything out of your heart.
you must feel blessed that when you're not well,everyone is there for you.
do you know how terrible it was when i couldn't cry out like how you did?
imagine when you feel so lost that you don't even know what to do,how you feel...
it's like my heart has become paralysed.
perhaps i thought i should leave you alone to let it out all you want
with no regrets.
i thought it was good not to feel anything so that i can't cry or feel hurt
but i was wrong.
when i was all alone,
thoughts started to developed.
all of a sudden i felt extremely lonely
and scared.
but what do you expect me to do?
i was forcing my tears back,not allowing it to drop but somehow it couldn't resist.
i soon found myself can't hold it back anymore
it was far too unbearable to keep inside.
yes.
i broke down.
in front of everyone's presence except yours.
friends asked why i didn't let it out sooner when you were still around,
it was just simply because my heart was numbed.
it was too much for me to feel anymore.
too many things had happened..
consecutively.
we need time.
you need time.
so do i.
i'm exhausted.
miss you badly